Hello and reports of my demise are greatly exaggerated

Wally and Arnie,

Just dropping a line to you both to let you know I haven't
slipped from the face of the earth. Been very busy lately here ,Dawn and
I decided to do some general house upgrades, and it's seems like those
little jobs became large ones. Our saga starts off rather mundanely with
a fresh paint job for the old place!!! I was all for that seeing that we
haven't painted since the house was built. So off to Home Depot for
paint (or should I rephrase that, paint chip samples) anyway after a
week of clinical wall testing with these chip Dawn finally came up with
the colors we need to purchase. So back to Home Despot and the purchase
of the paint. After cajoling my son Michael that he was the best
candidate for the brush and roller patrol he gladly took to the task.
Soon Wifey noticed how worn the old carpet seemed and she said she
would love to "get it out before we did the living room walls", so being
the dutiful hubby I am , Michael and I spent 2 nights removing the old
wall to wall floor fur and it's padding. So as to this point we have 2
bedrooms painted, the living room and dining room naked ( at least the
floor was) and me with my tongue dangling like the pit bulls after he's
been out chasing his favorite ball in the front yard.
Well, now we're in a quandary, to carpet or not to
carpet....only Shakespeare knows that answer, because my Mrs. couldn't
make her mind up for a couple of days ( recoup time for me). Then the
other shoe hits the floor.... what if????? we put down hardwood flooring
( I sank to my knees pleading with the girl I've been with for 40 years
to reconsider). I pointed out that the dogs nails would scratch natural
flooring and every 5 years or so we'd be refinishing them ( a task that
yours truly doesn't want to do in his 60's. Anyway I finally convince
her natural hardwood floors were out, that's when the light bulb over
her head came on, "what about the flooring your sister has ,they have a
dog and it doesn't scratch theirs". Of course I was pulling for
carpeting call a shop have it installed....done!!! fairly cheap and easy
for you know who!!! But once again as with many of us old married types
I ate my crow and genuflected to her and began the search for laminate
flooring for the dining room and living room. WE ( or should I replace
the "W" in that word with "SH" came upon Lumber Liquidators ...a
wonderful shop just chuck full of all that stuff that both brakes ones
back and cripples ones knees!!!!! After she(we) chose the oak flooring
and got 410 square of it to cover the naked floor we, had she was all
smiles and I just sighed deeply and wondered when or if I'd be able to
tackle this now snowballing upgrade. So the weekend after the purchase
"F" day came and no not "F-Bomb" day ... but I guess that thought ran
around inside my head whilst I began...Of course the guy that sold us
the flooring kept telling Dawn how easy it was to install....sure easy
for her because she was going to watch me slave over it!! Well, the
first weekend install was to get the dining room finished (if possible)
and then to have Michael paint it over the next week. I have found over
my life time that if someone tell you its easy their either lying to
sell you something, or they've never done it before.. The flooring for
the dining room took up the entire weekend ,an early Saturday start
(6am) til about 8pm yielded about 3/4s of the floor covered... see easy
(my ass)!! Sunday was a 6am til 5pm finish of it (well not finish
because I removed the old trim work around the carpet and you guessed it
now the new flooring needed to be trimmed. Ever notice those 5 minute
jobs usually take hours to complete. Back to the Home Despot ( I began
calling it that because like a true Despot it was getting all my
money)for trim, oops too many types for me to choose... Wifey called in
to make the choice. I began to feel like I was a manage of a ball team
calling in the relief pitcher(her) to get us out of this jamb. Anyway
finally got the right trim ...good it's all on the dining rooms done.
Nope! just when I thought I was making headway SHE throws a monkey
wrench into the mix. We had talked about a pellet stove early in July,
we ( again the WE(maybe when I say WE, you should insert SHE) picked out
the one we wanted . I was going for a living room install but was
overruled again. She picked out where she wanted it and said a nice
tiled hearth would look nice. Now mind you by now the guy whose had 4
knee surgeries is almost ready for a hoverround power chair. So back to
Despot for tile another choice and the second weekend of tiling,grouting
and the hearths in yippie!!! Oh shit there's still the living room floor
which I might add is 3 times the dining area... my heart sinks. So the
boy paints and all's well in dining room land or is it... Nope
chandelier has got to go , looks to gaudy and old so next we update with
a nice new track bar finally success!... well almost, she notices that
the old wallpaper trim along the wall should be redone. Phew... by now
I'm ready to go live in the garage!!!! So back to you know where to get
4 inch matching tile (hearth to use to cover 4 inch wallpaper trim...
Finally after 2 weeks the Damn Dining room is finished....well almost.
Now on to the living room flooring. I hope your seeing a trend here
because it sure snuck up on me. After another 2 weeks on my knees
(bought knee pads and it sure helped ) the lining room floor was almost
in, when that pitcher of mine threw the curve..What if I used the same
12 inch tile I had used on the hearth in the living room foyer. Not a
problem except I didn't have any left so back to Home Despot... maybe
the reason they call it that is because some guys spend more time there
than their real homes. Got the tile down, living room trimmed out all
done....except that darn wallpaper thingy was bugging her again this
time in living room so I bought trim and cover it and Mike painted it
and I thought I was finished.Living room and dining room ...new flooring
and trimmed and painted. Bedrooms painted and done. Bathrooms painted
and... strike 3 new floor need here... so off again to my second home
and bough new vinyl for here and put it down . Now are the times that
test men's souls... I get the so "What about the stove ..when is that
going in"? Like nails on a blackboard, the question just about drove
me to the edge but I kept a stiff upper lip and ordered it , a week
later it was slated to arrive and I need to get the double walled 3 inch
piping to hook it up so another return to my favorite place to purchase
the piping. So the stove came and it weighs almost 300 lbs so Mike ,the
delivery guy and myself wrestled it to its spot. Signed his bill and he
said, "good luck" as he left with a smile on his face.... he knew I'd
need it. I measured twice and cut once and installed the thimble and
stove pipe with the accuracy of a brain surgeon. after installing the
piping I figured i was done. Well I was almost.. of course with a new
stove the first couple burns smell and I'd have to pick 2 days to burn
where we could open windows to let the smell dissipate.So we did that ,
getting used to a pellet stove is a learning curve all it's own but I
digress!! Anyway floors in, walls painted, trim down, stove in and piped
and all is right in Duane land again or is it!!!! Now she's talking
maybe next summer new kitchen cabinets... oh the YWCA is looking better
all the time.

Duane

p.s. - pellet keeps house toasty so far and my new motto is: more saving
more doing.... I wonder where I've heard that before???